Acadamy Expansion
by E-arth Duelist
Summary: Ninjas...Hayley's birthplace...jutsus and crazy stuff...and sugar puffs.
1. Jutsu

Academy Expansion

Chapter 1: Jutsu

"I'mma ninja!" Hayley shouted.

"We're all ninjas, Hayley" Walker smiled. "Kalvin, where did you get your pilot license?"

"Kansas. It was definently Kansas. I found it in a magical box of fairy dust and pixies."

"And I think you've been dipping into your weed again" Jerry joked, Chatot on his shoulder.

"Cap'n, that's a funny joke!" he squaked, in ninja gear.

"Alright, you chaps. It's time for you losers to get in shape!" Quintin barked. "The seven of you are going to become ninjas."

"Seven?" Walker asked as Kim and Hayley brought in a man.

"Yes, seven. Hi Grapes."

"Hi Quintin! Hi guys!" he greeted, waving.

"Great...Grapes is here" TJ muttered.

"Who's Grapes?" Chatot asked.

"I don't know, Jerry?"

"He's an old friend of ours from Hamptognin. It's in Arkansas, Kentucky."

"Cap'n, what drugs are you on?"

"I got some sugar puffs and a candy cane" He said with pride.

"Give me those sugar puffs, Jerry!" Quintin yelled, snatching them away. "Now, first off, we're going to teach you how to block a punch." He punched Walker in the face, sending him flying into a wall. Luckily, the wall broke. "Now, if Walker had been paying attention, he would have seen that coming. But, because he wasn't ready for my sneak attack, he was unable to dodge sneakily. Now, TJ. Dodge my punch." He kicked TJ in the stomach.

"Why?" he cried, dropping his banjo. "Banjo Bro!"

"Your banjo is in another castle" Kim joked, helping to put a bandaid on him.

"Thanks."

"See? I told you to dodge. Had you been listening, you would have dodged. Enemies can trick you, so you need to be ready for a punch or kick or a throw or a special jutsu." He used his special jutsu and a stack of magazines appeared. "Nobody read those. Now, let's see your jutsus."

Grapes tried to use a jutsu and instead, he caused a grape tree to appear. "It's beautiful..."

"No, it isn't" Quintin said as he ripped it from the ground and hit him in the gut. "Anyone helps him up, you'll do twenty sit ups with a panda bear chasing you in my special annoying orange dungeon in which lies Bigfoot, three hundred batman and Britain Spears, the british pop singer."

Kalvin used his jutsu. "Pen Summoning Jutsu: Ink Slash." Kalvin summoned a pen with a happy face and goggles. "This is happy pen. He's very happy and..."

"Next!" Quintin yelled. "TJ, let's see your jutsu."

"I don't actually...Banjo Hum Jutsu." He began playing his banjo and the sound made Quintin's walls fall down, one hitting Walker.

"I'm injured!" he cried.

"Walker, tough it out, man. Now, Jerry, what's your jutsu?"

"Ladies man jutsu!" he shouted. A group of women outside began asking him out and wanting to kiss him. All were over eighteen and hot.

"I like it, good work Jerry. Teach me that one. Hayley?"

"Sexy jutsu: Female!" she cried, causing a group of men to fawn over her and ask her out.

"Not as good, but...I'll still count that as a jutsu. Kim?"

Kim smiled. "Taijutsu! Eagle Claw Ferocious Drive!" Kim held one leg up and kicked at Quintin, knocking him down before using a fist in claw formation to attack Quintin, who used the Escape Jutsu.

"Good work, everyone. Walker? Walker?" Walker was in the medical room, where the nurse smiled and took out her lipstick.

"Hi Walker" she said with a smile.

"Not her" he groaned as Whitney began to apply bandages.


	2. Grapes

Acadamy Expansion

Chapter 2: Grapes

Quintin had the group outside, ready to teach them how to climb trees. "First, you must jump up the tree and knock out whatever monkeys are hiding within. Then, use your chakra...Grapes?"

"What's a chakra?" he asked.

"Chakra is your inner energy...Grapes?"

"What's energy?"

"It's like...I don't quite know. Just use it and climb the tree."

"What's a tree?"

"Grapes...shut up. Now, Jerry, you and Chatot try to climb this tree."

"But, you haven't shown us how to do it" Jerry protested.

"Cap'n, we can do this" Chatot said.

"Well, okay then!" He ran at the tree and hit it hard.

"And that's not how you climb a tree" Quintin sighed. "Chatot, you try." Chatot flew into the tree. "That's how you climb a tree. Now, who wants to spar?" Walker appeared with crutches. "Walker! You'll be sparring with me!"

"No!" he cried, his nurse, Whitney, by his side. "Don't let her have another excuse to kill me!"

"Kiss you" she corrected.

"That's what I said" Walker groaned, taking his place in the ring.

"I'll give you a free hit" Quintin explained. "In fact, I'll turn around." Walker moved an inch. "Times up!" He used a jutsu to cause Walker to slam into the tree. "Now...what are you doing, Walker?"

"I'm escaping kissing!" he cried, using his feet and his chakra to propel himself into the tree.

"Now that's how you climb a tree using chakra" Quintin observed. "Excellent, we're done for today. Except for one more thing. Jerry, you and Kim failed the previous test."

"Quintin, that was a hard test" Jerry admitted.

"All I asked you to do is apologize for not teaching me your Ladies Man Jutsu. I really wanted to use it tonight at the club."

"Can I ciome too?" Jerry asked.

"No."

"Then no jutsu."

"I want to go to club!" Kim replied.

"Me too, cap'n!" Chatot squaked.

"Look, if you two can work together and defeat my best ninja trainee, then I'll let you three go with me to the club." Bobby came out.

"I hope I get overtime for this" he sighed. "I mean, I'm wearing a naruto outfit and I'm bringing you coffee. I'm not your maid, Quintin."

"But, you are my friend."

"Yeah...Jerry, Kim. What's going on?"

"We're going to the club!" they cheered.

"And I'll have a beer" Chatot said "Lots o' beer for me captain and me!"

"Druken Ladies Man Jutsu" Jerry joked.

"Hmm, I haven't been to the club for a week. Mostly because the club's been closed, let's go." They arrived at the club and saw Hayley there, getting lucky. That's right, she was doing that. Beating up Lucky, the night manager. What a jerk he was, I mean, giving people free lolipops? Not what you're thinking. These are lolipops you lick and some have tootsie rolls inside and...that was what you were...? Oh! Never mind, I'm so sorry. Continue the story, story cloud.

"Finally!" he cried. They sat at the bar and played lots of games, like chasing around girls in low skirts and playing dodge cannon ball and drinking sprite. Bobby was chatting up two ladies, Jerry was chatting up four, Kim was hustling a man out of all of his money and Quintin was staying far away, in a room that said private.

Meanwhile, in the villiage, Walker, Hayley, Kalvin and Chatot were heading downtown. "They left me out!" Chatot squaked. "Just because I'm beautiful!"

"I think it's because you ate Quintin's dvd case of Home on the Range" Walker said.

"Dudes, when you look at the city, it's peaceful. This villiage is nice, very nice. Right Hayley?" Suddenly, a ninja and attacked them with shuriken.

"Hey, ninjas from trhe villiage of butts" he laughed. "My name is Rover."

"Red Rover?' Walker asked.

"No, Blue" he replied. "Wait, you jerk! That's not fair! Now that you know my name, you must tell me your villiage's secret jutsus."

"Nope" Hayley replied.

"Darn! Attack, ninjas!" He sent out a pair of handsome men.

"Sexy Jutsu: Female!" Hayley yelled, attracting the males and scoring herself hot dates while Rover was excluded.

"You win this time" he said, looking at them. "But next time, I'll get every secret jutsu you have. Every...last...one...unless you want to tell me now."

"Nope."

"Darn!" He ran away and as he did, he heard one of the guys call him to look out for Grapes, who had stolen some secret documents.

TJ ran at him and punched Grapes in the arm, using his banjo to attack and take the papers back. Unfortunently, Banjo No Name caught on fire the secret documents remained secret, making them forever secret since nobody ever opened them up to see what they said.


End file.
